scream your heart out.

teachers day was COOL.
but you see, im a naughty girl, so duh things go well ;)
hahaha took pics with pretty teachers, nicole khor saying bye to me (YAYY!), seeing pretty people ;), talking to them. and SIGGY'S BIRTHDAY WAS SO COOL WE EMBARRASSED HER LIKE SHIT! yayy and i met jess (: at bugis.
these two days were just wonderfulllll.
OH and sa's interact was so funny and pretty (hmmmm!) too!
boy fuck, i sound like a flirt. im not.

english prelims was alright, but compre a bit diff.
I WROTE THE DUMBEST ESSAY MY ENTIRE LIFE.

sec two germaine and talia and sheila, GET MY FUCKING PICTURE OF ME PLAYING THE PIANO OFF YOUR BLOGS! argh! idiot juniors. and germaine's snapping of my shots were damn irritating OKAY.

i should study, enough play.
i need Aones.

you wont believe how DISGUSTED i am.
do you know how MUCH i can't stand you?
its SUCKING ME UPP.
fuck off, get a life,
just get outta my way and outta my sight
the sight of you nauseates me
you are hideous,
and your language is horrendous
i hate your fucking lousy attitude
seriously, do you think its damn cool?
you can afford to spend your time with all those childish lamers
and you just leave me alone.
what was that suppose to mean?
oh so you didnt really have the time to find it.
okay, so maybe i don mean that much to you
and i am just some kinda dirt.
i dont care, no matter what,
I AM GOING TO DEFEAT YOU.
to prove to you that i CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU
and i am not that weak
I WANT TO AND I WILL.
LET'S SEE WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH.

take me back.

I HAD TUITION TODAY.
but i wasn my usual high self. yeah. im drained out. and also spending the afternn with jess :) mhmm, all is well! shut up kel; you owe me an explanation too.
anyhow its english prelims. and im SO NOT FEELING GUILTY EVEN THOUGH im supposed to be studying. but you see...... blogging helps me improve my english. yes, IT DOES!

tomorrow's siggy's birthday. yayy and SA's installation. AND I GET TO SEE MISS GOH!
okay shut up char.
ima go check nk's pic in some web. lust lust eh/
SHUT UP CHAR!

bye all :)

aye aye aye.
prelims are starting next week and tuesday's gonna be one of our last days at school. teacher's day next thursday! will be our last celebration in stnicks :( ohwells. and we would probably be doing our last family dance on monday.
so yepp anyway, i had my english orals on thursday and omfh i screwed my picture description?! the examiners asked me so many questions and they seemed to be going against me somehow :i i aim to get a B3 for english!

would you?

TODAY number three like made my evening and my whole weekend. i am so happy. :)
tiong's daddy fetched me home today, and i carried my fucccking heavy box of worksheets home. my arms and ass are already aching lar. wtf.

yayy! germy's back! now we can have noisy recesses!
number three REALLY MADE MY DAY. she like drove out then saw me and she looked out of her wimdow and SMILED. ilove the way she smiles! dang, im obsessed!
DANG. when that smile of yours creeps into my mind :)

yeah, twas good.

Mirror mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me

i want you back.

the world around me

my tears are turning into dust,
im wasting tryna find, a reason for goodbye
i cant live without you,
cant breathe without you,
im dreamin bout you,
honestly tell me that its over.
bec the world's still spinning,
and im still living,
wont be nice if we're not living together.
tell me that its over

im just thinking about you,
and i seriously miss you a lot.
just so you know. you were looking today, who are you tryna kid?

today was english orals, dont know if it was good but i know my picture description was so messed up. but the examiners were laughing so i guess its good. :) when i came out, went to the staffroom, i finally saw number two. im like fucking happy and it makes me just OH-SO happy when i see her laugh. dont know. prolly someone to distract myself from when euge's not around. number three dont know where she die to la. i cant wait for school tmr morning assembly :) oh its number two's birthday :))
TODAY IS THE 24 OF AUGUST 2006. we'll come back one year later.

i wna stand with you on the mountain,
i wna bathe with you in the sea,
i wna live like this forever,
until the sky falls down on me.

i quarrelled with my dad last night.
everyone just has a problem with me, nobody understands.

well, my world. this is it.

and its such a simple question

today was a horrid. with two best friends in the world in different worlds.
please, do cheerup. ive known you guys all my life so dont be like this.
please, i'd get on my knees.

tuition at mrs kuek's was fun.
haha it always is, esp when she'd indulge with me in my stupid childish quarrels and nonsensical complains haha! there came this scgs girl today. yes, and she kept telling mrs kuek im damn funny and mrs kuek would tell me and i would go, okay? i mean what do you want me to say right? funny things, oh wells the girl's pretty nice and sweet. (: brenda tan's like super cute, she like gave me the puppy look to try convince me talking to my mom agn. funny things in my life!

look for the sunrise when it seems like the sun is setting.
everything will be perfect, someday.

girl, i wna be there for you but somethings stopping me.
i swear ima fall agn. i wna be like we used to, like how we play and wack and i'd just put my hands on your waist and you wldn say anything but just smile.
all these lil things keep replaying itself. and how i want it all to be true agn.

i need a sunrise, desperately.
im falling for someone who i really shouldn be at. shes a playa people say. if shes to play, i'd play with her. you know i can if i want to. but to HER im not and i dont want to. im seriously serious man.

char >> nat im so sick of life. why cant everything be so much easier?
nat >> but like that it wldn be life already what.
char >> yeah but i still want it easier! its so torturous.
nat > hmmm can you imagine life being called potatoes!
char >> nat? hahahaha okay so we go like "my potatoes sucks." like this?
nat > yeah! then what would potatoes be called?
char >> hmmm maybe nat.
nat > right char.
char>> HAHAHA really, would you like some nats?

i love potatoes.
i miss nunber two. stop ignoring me.
i love number one.

be without you

well well well
lets see
we have tests and mock and prelims in TWO FUCKING WEEKS.
its stressful
and i cant seem to get anything into my head.

so i've tried EVERYTHING to keep myself occupied.
like lets see:
-did history, two chapters?
-did chem, got bored halfway a chap
-did AMATHS, absorbed most of the brain juice left.
-did breaking, practiced for a while then i got tired.
-watched school of rock MANY TIMES with my sister. hahahah

now im left with nothing to do, except waiting for my dad to come home
hope he buys me my happy meal!

its been ten days since i've talked with you. yes, but maybe youve just have to try to understand me better cos theres much more to me than you actually know.
maybe you should just try.

to the another, i was just reading all our texts we sent the first day we started out
it was awesome and everything and i suddenly missed everything we've actually done in our time together.
i wrote this for you:

the situation im in is way more than you can imagine
like how even salt is beginning to taste much better than margarine.
im stuck in between fears and tears i dont even know why im alive
but i was glad i had you, to help me up and i survived.
i finally learnt how all good things cant last till the end
and how i cant face the fact that all we can be are just friends.
now i know i cant lie to myself no more
that you being there just makes my heart go sore.

i hope im not too late, with you screaming in my head.
i hope im not too late, that we be going on with hate.
i hope im not too late, that you, i'll try to persuade.
i hope im not too late, that the journey of us, wouldn fade.

when i shut up in your face, doesn mean i give up.
i dont want to, i dont know.

having FIFTY ODD is scary not fun my dear euge?

i miss you. (:

these four i love :D


you know its really annoying when a friend of yours who mean so much to you seems to be keeping a distance away from you and creating some kind of barrier between the both of you. what the fuck is wrong with you? why can't you just tell me about your feelings? i don't know, its like you're holding something back and you refuse to tell me anything. maybe its hard for you to think that way. probably you have not totally forgotten the past. please don't get me wrong. everything between us is over and i have alr forgive and forget. i'm not trying to get you back or whatever, all i want us to be is friends. close friends, like how we used to be when we first met. i admit, i do miss you alot. i apologise for all the nasty things i did and said. but have you really apologised? yes, maybe you did apologise to me when you rejected me. but how about all that mean things you did? your lies and your ignorance? although it hurt me so, i have forgiven you. i am tired of this. i am goddamn sick of your fucking monotonous and cold replies. stop denying that there's nothing wrong, or quit saying i am thinking too much, because its getting onto my nerves.

life is anything but calm

mine is anything but calm.

liars die and go to hell. so goodbye.

theres a freaking ss mock tmr and i just heard about it today.
which means im supposed to squeeze in two years worth of stuff into my head in hmm lets see, five hours? oh no theres still amaths hw to do and 5 chapters of chem to study. im left with one more of chem and unable to get anything in already. TELL ME IM SCREWED. this nice primary teacher helped me with integration. :) HA! number one is still number one! okay lets not go nuts.
I'D HAVE TO GET BACK TO DOING NOTHING AT ALL.
no its study.

even if i am to live this year agn, i would do anything and everything ive done agn.
no regrets. cos i love you.

you'll be love and i'll be a liar

TAKE MY LIFE

now nothings going right. and im getting pissed off cos whatever i'd try to do all goes to waste andi cant get anything done properly. everything i try to get right just gets screwed up right and well.

"i hope thislife pass me past quick"

hey miss murder can i,
make beauty stay if i,
take my life.

leave her alone, take me.

i love friday! (:

i just need to breathe you in me.

HELLO CHINESE.
oh well, chinese is back again! got back my chinese results today. had a B3 :( well, i guess i cant say much because i have alr tried my best? i only want to say that i dont wanna take chinese! but i am left with no choice, i need a distinction!
jiaxing came to my house yesterday :) we were supposed to study but after a while we started chit chatting. hehh. in the end, i couldn't finish studying my bio and amaths. bio test today was crap. i gave up doing the paper and started to laze. lucky the amaths was still alright! i have not completed my ss graded assignment too! and my testimonial. i've got so much to catch up this weekend!

ms murder can i?

TODAY IS NATIONAL DAY. yayy?
okay so morning was slack and i prolly only did like four maths questions, aft which i apparantly got very bored. and started playing with my soft rugby ball. and reading joy luck.
THEN
i realised i was going on a cruise at 1600 and i wld be even more bored. cos it'll be a totally waste of time when i can be doing work. (hey. you seldom ever hear me say that) so yes. did i mention? I HATE THE SEA. i get seasick but my mum was the one puking away. she and her smart idea. but oh wells, she wanted me to have a break so thanks mum.(you seldom ever hear me say that too) yayyness now im at home, unrocky.

oh yes i am going to be in an all egoistic mood cos i need it to write my testimonial. im sure rahh wldn have much of a problem eh?
HAHAHAHA wiggy's so funny.

maybe i dont miss you that much?
maybe im beginning to succeed to hate you?
you disgust me. yayy! i hope.

ima work on the testi now.
sounds wrong but yes goodbye!

with jean!



room 2013 mates!



hello! its the nation's birthday today! :D
i am like rotting at home? tmr's a holiday too! but i have to go for ac training in the morning and go sign the dsa form thing. i've got accepted into ac! but i am still unsure if i should go there. jillian says i should sign it first, if i want to withdraw, i can write a letter to moe again. so yepp! ac has a big and nice sports complex :) though we have to pay maintenance for it. but for me its alright cos i will be using the sports complex quite often. term1 pe lessons is gonna be swimming! hahaha. i heard that ac is going to build a performing arts centre as well! hmmm this reminds me, i just read some blog entry and i found out that nj choir wants to thrash ac choir and some other schools choir in next year's syf. please? ac choir gets like gold with honours? GO AC CHOIR! :D haha okay, sorry that was pure dumbness and weirdness.
we had national day celebration in school yesterday! well, i enjoyed myself very much and its probably one of the best national day celebration in stnicks. vanessa was the mascot for her class and she look so damn hilarious! HAHAHA. its my last national day celebration in stnicks too! :( after that, me char rahh shan and her sister went town! shopped for a little while and ate bk. haha, we were like sitting at some dark corner in cine? interesting huh :D everybody who walked past us stared at us with some funny look. oh yeah, i met daphne! :) me and rahh then went to rot at her dad's office while the rest left. we talked and shared alot about our experience as cca heads! i was supposed to meet shar but in the end we didnt.
woke up at 10 plus this morning and i started doing maths but gradually, i gave up because i was too bored and tired to do any studying. i feel like going out now! ricky couldn't meet because he doesn't have church today. maybe i shall go visit my nieces later :D
chinese results are coming out on friday! -shivers.

i was just talking to a friend of mine who just broke up with her bung because of her religion. but now, they are still very good friends. maybe even close to best friends.
how about me?

st nicholas badminton team :)



sec fours at ferry terminal :D our last year.


hihi. woke up arnd ten plus this morning and did amaths. amaths test tmr! (for those who missed the test on thurs because of sports trip). i did matrices and a little of sets, i am left with permutation and combination. the confusing one :i next week's test will be amaths, social studies and bio. MUGG! anyway yes sports trip.

DAY 1
took the bus from school to tanah merah ferry terminal. board the ferry and we sat upstairs! my god, i conclude that if anyone sits the ferry and you get seasick easily, please DO sit downstairs and bring suan mei! i had a VERY BAD seasick lah! i hate sitting ferries! :( some sec2 girl went to spray insect repellent and stinked the whole ferry. gosh, my headache worsen when carolyn foo, who was sitting beside me, took out her PHYSICS TEXTBOOK and started STUDYING. goodness gracious me, i was like practically SCREAMING AT HER TO STOP STUDYING! i cant stand her lameness! :i so we reached bintan and sat on the bus to some hotel. had reflection with mrs gurung for like 2 hours?! i was falling asleep, at the same time, admiring cutie pie :D our group did hiking first. the bus ride to the mountain was HORRIBLE i tell you. the person who built that bus seriously had no brains! it was so freaking squeezy, i felt as if all of us were like sardines! or refugees. somemore we had to carry our bags with us and eat lunch in the crowded stuffy bus! the bus was rather amazing and strange. you know the buses in singapore have their open windows at the side of every seat. but the bus we sat on had some plastic covering at the side and the open windows were at the TOP! because the windows were at the top, it hit many of the tree branches and the leaves and funny insects flew into the bus! the back mirror of the bus broke as well because it got hit by the branch! mountain climbing was very challenging! especially when going up the mountain. when we reached the submit, everyone was like WOOHOO but in less than 5 minutes, we had to go down :i going down was of course much easier. i slided down (: well, i think hiking was the best activity among the other programmes. after about 2 or 3 hours, we went back to our lodge. the lodge was great! even though the resort in desaru was better.

DAY 2
we did team building in the morning. it was a disappointment. i didnt learn anything from it at all. we played some boring games like the robot game, the victim and the spongebob squeezy game. luckily we were more fortunate than the other groups who played dog and bone and the blanket game?! dragon boat and kayaking in the afternoon! dragon boat was great although it gave me butt aches :i our group came in first! :D however, the instructors failed to give us clear instructions. we were suppose to go to the mangrove swamp, but they didnt tell us that there were water snakes and crocodiles there! everyone assumed that it was safe! good that we didnt capsize or not i wonder what's going to happen! :( and one of my friends saw a dead overturned lizard floating on the water. YUCKK! we had our bbq dinner at the beach! though the food kinda sucked. but it was very cooling and the scenery was beautiful :) then, we had camp fire.

DAY 3
we didnt really do anything on day3 except for reflection in the morning, then free and easy in the afternoon. the shift one girls, which comprises of the sec 1,2,3 girls went back in the afternoon while the sec4s and the sec3 track girls stayed behind. all of us went into the teachers room and had an interesting talk with ms lim! :D later, we went shopping at the factory outlet! i bought a black collared shirt and a new wallet. my current wallet is spoiled! :( sat on the ferry back again and i am so glad i sat downstairs this time!
reached singapore at 7.30pm. went to my brother in law's place for dinner. i saw my nieces again! :D

i will holler at you

today was suppose to be church day.
haha but IM SICK! no, really. no, physically.
im getting cold sweats and a bad headache and block nose.
rahh said i sound so sexy stupid whale.
its torturous!
anyhow my dear moronic parthner's back from sports trip. and nunber one and ahem.
yes. i dare not see doctor, cos he will like make me stay in bed and i cant go to school to like see number two!
AHAHAHA, tiong i'll call yer later! if you read this before i get to you!
okay, my maid's gna cook some tasteless porridge and ima hafta eat it! :(

i'll just stand by the sidelines and watch you slip away.
thats good enough for me. i dont wna fall too deep agn.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died

its sweet of you to look me in the eye

TODAY IS PROBABLY THE BEST DAY I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME.
oh my god, we like kept bumping into munbertwo ALOT of times.
and BOY SHE LOOKS SO HOT WHEN SHE SMILES!
which she did, at me.
and according to lovely rahh, she kept loooking at me which is like MAKING MY FUCKING DAY OH SO HAPPY!
just like siggy wit her happy pill, im with my HAPPY POTION. haha wiggy came up with that. funny and weird people i sit around with but OHWELLS!
i think she knows.
and she doesn mind.
maybe she does too, (wishful thinking on my part)
but who knows, maybe she really does.
dont you agree?


this is the start of something good, dont you agree?
my thoughts are going absurd.
all i think about, is your smile.

she looks hot in RED.
we'll see, in a few days!

TIONG! I'VE MISSED YOU MUCH!
YOU CANT GO STALKING WITH ME!
ITS OKAY,
WE'LL DO MORE OF THAT WHEN YOU RETURN!
grins~
love you tiong! (:

we had a very interesting bio lesson today. also, we have a new bio student! CHARLENE XIAO WEITING. HAHA, THAT CRAZY ASS. we dissected the pig's eyeball as well as the brain! :) we were so excited and very grossed out at first. cos it looks so bloody and disgusting! it stinks too! but then, we got used to it lah so it ended up really fun! :D the eyeball was the most fun and amazing one! unlike the boring brain.
emaths mock exam was a killer. oh my, i wonder how i can survive prelims!
sports trip tmr! i have not finished packing yet! AHHHH. there are many things which i dont wanna bring :i haha, at least i am starting to feel excited! :D to come think of it, its gonna be fun! though i didnt really like the group that i am in. i hardly know anyone in my group? AND MOUSE ISNT IN MY GROUP! HOW CAN THIS BE! TIONG IS SO SAD ))):
okay, shall go back to packing now! i will be back on saturday night. dont miss me! :D

memoirs of us

eeek, i had tuition. yes it was quite okay, since mrs kuek loves to bully me just like any other insane teachers, okay lor.
im like a bully machine, people come to me to ease their bulling desires. hahaha sounds funny. OHWELLS. tiong's gonna be gone on thursday, so will number one and nunber three. dont like!

when smile of yours creepsinto my mind.

nobody said it feels so good,
nobody said you'll be so beautiful,
nobody warned me about your smile,
youre the one, youre the light when i close my eyes
im colourblind (:

i just miss times i would hang with you,
crazily around the canteen.
now all i can do is just sit from afar and watch you, glancing.
i should never have said to let you go. stupid me.
fucker out.