holidays are coming to an end soon and i've been slacking :( i'm eating and sleeping so much like a big fat lazy pigg, i think i'm growing fat soon! hee :D hardly touched my books and my homework although there's piles of work to be done, sheesh. i was supposed to do chinese revision but i didnt do any in the end. hahah i just cant stand doing chinese, it makes me fall asleep. if i clear my chinese o's in may, i wont be studying chinese till next year so i have to force and motivate myself to study hard for chinese :)
i tried studying geog today, wet rice cultivation. well, it wasnt exactly very productive but at least i did something! i seriously have to buck up on my combined humans! i have been getting F9s for it since the beginning of sec three and i dont believe my humans are that bad, so I WILL WORK HARD FOR IT. :)
many things happened lately. seriously i cant take it anymore. you are totally absurd and non sensical. i have done my best yet you are not happy. i cant live up to all your expectations, they are too high and you have gone too far. i am not perfect and so aren't you. you cant force me to do whatever i cannot and whatever i dont want to do. i'm tired of your impatience and your bullshit facts. i hate it when you don get your priorities right, i hate it when you are so unreasonable and so not understanding, i hate your selfishness and fakeness. i dont understand why you cant accept being defeated, all you think is winning. you're stress. c'mon tell me who's not stress? everyone else is stress too. you are bringing my morale down and i've been tolerating i cant wait to get out of here. i am too dread to see you. i dont wish to dislike you, i wish you would go back to your normal self again. please stop thinking that you're so great and that you're always right. i have lost my trust and respect in you. don pester and irritate me anymore would you? just quit killing and giving me additional stress.
i am drained and worn out, i've got no mood to study or even train. and i dont know how i train, my body hurts everywhere it feels injured! :( i want competition to end quickly so that i can focus on my studies then get over and done with o's. i cant continue on like this.

I didn't know what to say
I tried to look the other way
When I saw you there with him
Acting like I don't care
But you can read from how I stare
That I'm hurting deep inside
Ain't gonna show my weakness
I'm gonna smile
And tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down
When no one can hear me
Baby I'll be crying for you