morons by nature

all i want for christmas is you

2006-12-21T01:31:00.000-08:00

you're not alone
together we stand
i'll be by your side
you know I'll take your hand
when it gets cold
and it feels like the end
there's no place to go
you know I won't give in
no, I won't give in

keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through
we'll make it through
just stay strong
cause you know I'm here for you
i'm here for you
there's nothing you can say
nothing you can do
there's no other way when it comes to the truth
so, keep holding on
cause you know we'll make it through
we'll make it through

so far away
i wish you were here
before it's too late
this could all disappear
before the door's closed
and it comes to an end
with you by my side
i will fight and defend

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe.
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly

i miss you dear :(

just stay by me and never leave,

electric shocks on aching bones

2006-12-10T18:37:00.000-08:00

i started work on friday.
my leg pain, back pain, arm pain and i never fail to reek of some smell from the kitchen. my dad insists on taking 20% of whatever im earning, for life tax. wtf. haha but its more fun than staying at home, with uber retarded people. :)

i love you so,
just look in these eyes
and they'll tell you where this could go.
i just want you to know.

just tell me, whatever song, i'll sing it.
cos i just want you back for good.
stay here, with me.
its a beautiful world, only when youre with me.

hey, listen.
we didnt really start off wiute the same,
when i lived in self denial,
in fear of the pain.
i already know, what you try to hide,
your feelings, your fears, and whats with you inside.
but i already found her, someone i grew to love.
her weakness, her failures, shes someone thats worth
all my cuts, all my pain, it doesn really matter
cos with her by me, i feel so much better.
i love her, like she understands
and i wouldn let her go, once i've held her hand.
you've seen my life, so tattered and torn
leave thelove, and i'll follow you on.

i'll miss you when you go for spain. ten days eh, no joke.
when you come back, youre all mine. :)

and i

2006-11-26T04:12:00.000-08:00

this love is eternity
this love is just you and me
this love goes wherever you go,
and i'll follow through.

yesterday went out to heartland to get sweets for con camp, but we ended up coming up with stupid ideas. so nevermind. then! we went to ps, got the SWEETS, 'borrowed' wax to do my hair but apparently, it still looked the same! so nevermind! then went to but daniel's mum the uzap hahaha and we saw this girl advertising for shavers and her skirt was god damn short. hahaha funny guys! and i saw ness! :) mmm then i went to meet euge! :)) mmmm, and she ask me to eat so she can sit down! who's the lazy one! and feeding me mashpotato with chilli and veggies AINT VERY NICE! you just lucky i have a STRONG stomach, or else i stomach ache you DIE. but the feeding was nice ;)) hee! youre a sweet thing :) AND youre quite light, actually! :)

youre beautiful,
just the way you are.
and i love it all,
every line and every scar.
and i wish that i could make you see
that this is where you ought to be,
come down to me.

i miss you. :((

:)

2006-11-23T22:05:00.000-08:00

Baby I love you and i'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced
Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we make can never be erase
And i promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me too
Until the end of time
From the day I met you
I know we've be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
Thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
I can say i'm truly happy to the same
You've made me think I'll die and live my life hesitate
There's never been no doubt in my mind
That i'll regret ever having you by my side
But if the day come that i'll have to let you go
I think that something I should probadly let you know
With everything that i spent with you
Then i will miss you cuz i'm happy that i have you at all

I feel for you yes i do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until the end of time

sugar! much much

olevelss much over.
play time here.
i miss you much already. :\

2006-11-13T01:34:00.000-08:00

you asked if such love exist, i tell you it does. and i will show it to you, and give you that kind of love. i want to give you that feeling of being loved and the happiness you have never felt before. then you will know how sweet and beautiful love really is.

2006-11-09T01:21:00.000-08:00

RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
who in the world would ever put bio and elective geog papers on the same day?! cambridge does. AHHHHHHHHHH! omg, what were they thinking?! it's so HORRIBLE!
tuesday and wednesday were two absolutely disastrous days for me. because i had bio and elect geog papers today and its SO MUCH to cover. i'm glad its all over!
6 more days till the end o levels! but, results are coming out in 10weeks.

Honey why you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why you calling me so late

2006-10-28T06:00:00.000-07:00

if you don mean it, then dont say it
dont say it for the sake of pleasing people
you may say such stuff, but you dont do or show what you say
your actions speak louder than your words
tell me how am i suppose to believe that?
just what are you up to?

make me fade; let me go free

2006-10-18T18:19:00.000-07:00

today is officially the last day of combined assembly. TEN YEARS OVER NOW! okay and im old, well stelli, youre still older! one year to remind you. like small kid like that. farnie thing ;) hmmm, friday will com and go like any other day. but next thurs i have remedial. and tuition this sat. I NEED TO GET DOWN TO STUDYING NEXT WEEK i really do. and i need to cut down on texting. lovely :/ well, i prolly should right. argh, okay lit is boring with three hours of maths today. wish me luck. i'll prolly never be online again!

this's for you, you know who you are.
If I wrote you a symphony
Just to say how much you mean to me (what would you do)
If I told you you were beautiful
Would you date me on the regular (tell me would you?)
BAby, I've been around the world
But I ain't seen myself another girl (like you)

This ring represents my heart
There's just one thing I need from you (say I do)

[Bridge:]
I could see us holding hands
Running on the beach, our clothes in the sand
I can see us in the countryside
Sittin on the grass side by side
You could be my baby (be my baby)
Girl, you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
All I want you to do is be

My love (so don't give away)
My love (so don't give away)
My love (so don't give away)
Ain't no other woman that can take your spot

Now if I wrote you a love note
And made you sign every word I wrote
Would that make you want to change your scene
And be the one on my team (tell me would you?)
See, what's the point in waiting anymore
Girl, I never been more sure (baby, it's you)
This ring represents my heart
Ande verything I've been waiting for (just say it, I do)
Because

[Bridge:]
I could see us holding hands
Running on the beach, our clothes in the sand
I can see us in the countryside
Sittin on the grass side by side
You could be my baby (be my baby)
Girl, you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
All I want you to do is be

Shorty, cool as a fan
On the new once again
Still has fan from Peru to Japan
Listen baby, I don't wanna ruin your plan
If you got a man, try to lose him if you can
Cause your girl hands on fire
Wanna come kick it wit a stand up guy
You don't really wanna let the chance go by
Because you ain't been seen wit a man so fly
Left, right candle fly
Private, cause I handle mine
Call me candle guy, simply because I am on fire
Cancel my vacation so you can't deny
I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try
You don't come, I gonna die
Hold up, what you mean, you can't go why?
Me and you boyfriend ain't gonna fight
You say you wanna kick it, wanna get so high
Baby, you decide that I ain't your guy
Ain't goin lie, I feel your space
But forget your face, I swear I will
Same mark, same bullet anywhere I chill
Just bring wit me a pair, I will

[Bridge:]
I could see us holding hands
Running on the beach, our clothes in the sand
I can see us in the countryside
Sittin on the grass side by side
You could be my baby (be my baby)
Girl, you amaze me
Ain't gotta do nothin crazy
All I want you to do is be

[Chorus x2:]
My love (so don't give away)
My love (so don't give away)
My love (so don't give away)
Ain't no other woman that can take your spot.

i'll just wait for you
until you say you want me too.
you know you do.

to kill or be killed

2006-10-14T04:04:00.000-07:00

i finally can sneak on the comp. checked out SA's open house, got a shoebag and funny things. and im supposed to be studying to get a bloody ten points to get into sa. shit. ima start bringing out my inner nerd. :/

okay, its just one week left to end of school and my ten years in stnicks will end there. with exams. boy will i miss this place. and even though the early part was not so well with after june, i still will miss it. much much. stress is bottling up. being sec four is not at all nice. problems start arising. getting caught in dilemas of the growing years. well thats been it for me the past five years. careful of your company. find your true friends quick. and be careful not to lose them ever. not for the world. you'll regret it, trust me. dont take paths of life that you'll regret. but if you do, learn from your mistake and dont repeat again. oh, try breaking a few rules, get the thrill going. life will be better. do it in school while you can, the price is not that expensive yet. thieving is bad. climb gates or run out of school or draw on the walls. cheap thrills.

i sound like some super uber knowledgeable person. hahaha ohwells, life's a journey. mistakes wont cost you much. just learn from them.

I set out on a narrow way many months ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the months I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I’m just rollin’ home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you

when will you finally get over your fear?
when will you finally say that youre mine?
when will i be fine?

2006-10-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

its about two to three more weeks to the big o level exams, and there's bio prac next week! its our last day of school next friday too, then we will stay at home to mug for o's. OOOOOHHLALA! its so scary to think that o's are SO NEAR now. i used to think that o's are months away, but now its just a few days left!
oh tiong, you have to learn to work and write at a speed of light, or your marks are gonna fly away to heaven. aiyoo tiong, you are such a bad and lazy girl who refuses to study lit and practise doing mapwork which you sucked so much in. tskkk!

in my world of made belief

2006-10-04T23:48:00.000-07:00

prelims are majorly screwed
okay considering the fact that i improved cos i never get below thirty my entire life, a twenty odd is not bad. but, comparing with the rest of everybody else, GOD I SUCK. i need to get into a jc.
flooopppsss. (typed by chicken)
-flops about in a uncontrolled manner
okay that was chicken and her oh so weird habit.
ANYWAY, lets move on with life.

lessons as normal now. fuck, i feel like holidaying.

But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting

I've made a commitment
I'm willing to bleed for you
I needed fulfillment
I found what I need in you

sweet, its for you.

EUGE, TINKERBELLE IS CUTER THAN YOU ARE. you know it :))

the truth will set sparks

2006-10-02T04:38:00.000-07:00

haha saturday was fun, other than the fact that euge was there. yeah hahaha nat we must must go out more often, and you'd better wear proper shoes. haha then we can go back to food republic and turn down the indian guy again! :) so funny!! :) hmm, yes euge, it wasn even raining, why wld you need an umbrella? crazy thing :)

"when i look into your eyes i can see that you
wna be with me but youre scared
and i dont know what to say or do
but the tears keep falling from your eyes
and i know that
times wont change my love
and i cant do nothing to keep you
as hours pass away
you think love aint here to stay
feel a beat from your chest
but you dont give a doubt a moments's rest
you dream the future and all you see is dark
listen to your heart baby, the truth will set sparks"

youre all i need, my love, my valentine.
you know its for you, who you tryna kid?

prelims was majorly screwed. i can go ite cut grass alr.
my lifetime career. i need a moderation. pretty please!

the pain is real, the pain it kills.

2006-09-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

i really dont know what to say, i dont know what to do. i feel lost. so much have happened. why do i have to screw up my last few months in st nicks? fuck. i dont know why i am getting myself into all these things. things which aren't important, things which doesnt concern me, but i chose to be involved in it. i hate my insensitiveness. doing things without thinking, without thinking the consequences of doing it. going overboard without realising it. i hate this character of mine. i hate this bad habit. i hate this habit of acting like this towards you. i dont know how it came by, but it just became a habit. maybe its my fault, my fault for playing too much, my fault for caring too much, my fault for being carried away so easily. i started everything. how much wish there wasn't such a person. how i wish i didnt open the door. otherwise, my life will not be in a disaster now. whenever i ignore, you start asking what's wrong. but when everything's alright, you start asking people why is she like that? so what do you want me to do? moving front or back doesnt make a difference. right now, i just want to clear my name, that's all. just get it out of your bloddy head. i dread coming to school now, i cant wait to start a whole new life, to be my normal self again. i am fucking tired, seriously, it KILLS me. i am even having problems with a close friend. i want to stop getting distracted and move on. i will move on and focus on my exams. i should just stop deluding myself. i dont want this to pull me down. no, it cannot.

how the heart confuses the mind

2006-09-26T04:10:00.000-07:00

WE ARE FINALLY DONE WITH PRELIMS! LIKE yayy. lets see, its not long to olevels now. results are like out way too fast. I need a break. desperately. today went lunch at j8 with nat kel and meiling at mos. mhmm, kel eats her tako damn it fast la. I was just gna finish my first one and she finished everything already. wth. haha shes hungry. meiling, lucky I FORCED you to start eating the burger. later someone scold you (: I am so sweet! and the piece of fry I stuck into the burger to make it look a lil more tempting? ((((:

“its all about me, not somebody else
help me to see,
the truth when I look at myself,
if ima change, if ima break free
it cant be about them, its all about me.”
yes, I need to make a decision. and fast. my head needs to get sorted out.
logically, like people say, go for someone who loves you.
but in my theory, I’ll go for someone I love.

HELP me. my brains all bogged up. and its not like I don’t like number three, I just… AIYA not like anyone would understand.
OH I bumped into number two many times today. haha no I really bumped into her, not purposely! really!

“it’s a shame to awake to a world of pain
it’s the same everyday in a hell manmade.
what can be saved, who’s left to hold her?”

if someone could tell me wht to do now, it would be so much easier. number one, if you had said yes, I wouldn be so messed up now you know. no no its not your fault, I still love you all the same, like I always have. oh now I see, maybe thts why im so messed up.

Ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same ohh baby, nooo
When I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go
I just broke down (down)

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
Cuz the feeling that I feel within
No other man would ever make me feel so right
Its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me, right next to me
I miss the way you hold me tight

[Bridge]
I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a ____ so much
I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world, for you I'd do anything

[Chorus 2x]
Thats right baby I'm going crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me I'm in love with you baby

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you its been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat
Every time we speak, I can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me
And you love me I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you I'll put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you crazy over for you
I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?
It's true, no fronting
Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down (down)

i love you.

2006-09-25T02:37:00.000-07:00

tomorrow is the 26 september 2006, which is also the end of prelims.
26 september 2005 was a special day.

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

I wanna heal
I wanna feel
What I thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain I felt so long
Erase all the pain till its gone
I wanna heal
I wanna feel
Like Im close to something real
I want to find something Ive wanted all along

you'll be safe here

2006-09-18T19:41:00.000-07:00

okay, lets see how life has been.
prelims are three quarters over. and my f*%^# mother hid the wires for the internet and i cant use it, and she switched the phone to fax mode so apparently no one can call through. sorry abby, and all who tried to call. waking up late when i know the rest of the world is schooling feels GREAT. HAHA! good luck nat for physics and all taking bio! :) feel jealous hurry! its just ten forty on a tuesday morning and i just finished watching cartoons!

oh i have tuition later. OH i have CHEM PRAC. shit.
and our birthday nat. we really gna invite so many eh?
up to you nat! love yer!

bye, i've a date with my books!
hot~music~books

can i turn to you when it all falls apart

2006-09-08T03:23:00.000-07:00

its my sister's birthday tommos. ima get the thing she requested on monday. im such a nice sister! boy!
went book shoppong today. we spent like thirty bucks fishing for books. and the whole place was so fucking crowded. i hate crowded places.
went to raffles town club to study, did qiute a bit of chem and maths. i am oh so proud of myself. yeap!

hey tiong how have you been? I HAVEN TALKED TO YOU IN A LONG TIME! yes yes.
alright, im off to study.

PAUL GOT OUT!

its not easy, to be me.

hot~music~disco

2006-09-08T02:30:00.000-07:00

We'll do it all everything on our own
We don't need anything or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know how to say how I feel
Those three words are said too much they're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time chasing cars around our heads

I need your grace to remind me, to find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am, all that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

my cherie amour

2006-09-06T20:23:00.000-07:00

last night, i stayed up until like eleven thirty to do maths, am i productive or what. ey you never ever see me so hardworking OKAY!
mmmm ystd i went running then went to train up. i was angry you see. yeah anyhow, i was only doing maths you see, so okay fine i agree that i wasn all that PRODUCTIVE argh!@#$. i need to do history. too much math drives me nuts.

my cherie amour,
youre the only one that i adore,
youre the only girl my heart beats for,
how i wish that you were mine.

needta go now. at least i survived the day to post this
see yer all :)
pictures of random!

what a beautiful disaster

2006-09-05T19:59:00.000-07:00

yes its been some time. monday was studying in school. i like stayed in class to do work until i met abby in the canteen and we talked crap for quite some time until i proceeded to studying with jingyu until germs came and me and meiling ent to teach her log which like duh she was able to do after a while. i am such a good teacher. :)
HAHA number two was in school on monday wearing red which she looks oh so fab in. oh yes, then i saw number one! :)))))))))))))
mhmm and rosalie gave me a slip of paper teaching me how to win tic tac toe! so sweet of her! mmmm, i finished almost all of maths! i am one productive freak! yayyness! :)

i had a dream,
of you dying
and i was so afraid that i would lose you,
i woke up crying.
oh, why am i feeling this way la fuckening hell.

mrs kuek's tuition was fun esp when we had cara there. we were like crazy people! haha stupid joke you have cara. funny thing! i bring joy and laughter! quotes mrs kuek " whoa, today i have five sessions, so tiring i tell you, hahahaha whoa luckily i have you now then i can laugh" yes SEE i wasn lying! yes it was a super productive day. but i went home, eat dinner, listen to music for a while, then plopped into bed. that was like eight. yes i was super tired.

yes i shall be productive today too! see yer all. :)))
i hope i would be alive enough to post the next entry!

2006-09-04T04:38:00.000-07:00

i'm at my brother in law's place! will be staying over here for about 2 days. my nieces are so cute :D i love playing with them! but the younger one has an infection on her nose :i
sigh. I AM SO PISSED! on saturday afternoon, my mommy came into my room and saw me using my phone and for i don know whatever reason, she got annoyed and she TOOOK AWAY MY PHONE!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!! she claimed that what my prelims are coming and i should be concentrating more on my work instead. she thinks that the phone is distracting me :i hurrr, i was just typing a text, not like as if i am playing it or what right. whatever.
so now i am left with no phone. i'll only get it back during school times, otherwise, i would have to surrender it. haven touched my phone for two miserable days )): hopefully she will give it back to me like once a week or sth so that i can check my messages. and i pray that she WILL NOT SWITCH IT ON AND DO ANYTHING. URGHH.

2006-09-03T01:13:00.000-07:00

i am tired of trying
i'm weary of this pretence
may i take off this mask now?
i give up.

let me introduce you

2006-09-01T04:13:00.000-07:00

the characters of the show.
wiggy's blog turned french and i cant read anything except like 'halo halo' which i obviously presume its 'hello hello'. yes. today my dear sister bought some 'ha ha' crabs. its like dumb like @#$% ? yes i have weird people all around. talked to euge last night, and she called me a stewpig, (stupid) her brain works funny, and no euge, i DONT teach you bad. yeah, hope life would be nicer.
i dont wana hurt no body.
i dont wna see me die a lil more inside.

studying in the late morning was quite productive. im prouda myself man! :)
then i got lazy cos i got prouda myself. hee :)
anyhow got down to texting a bit, yeah, happy birthday gil.
i did what i said euge! :)
im such a nice person.
then jess. yepp :)
cut my fringe, shorter, so it doesn get in my vision of pretty people
haha no la. im not a flirt.

"of all the roads we had to take a winding"

oh i got my SA shirt on wed, i forgot to add !!! :))))

i loveyou! :)

hot~music~disco

scream your heart out.

2006-08-31T04:24:00.000-07:00

teachers day was COOL.
but you see, im a naughty girl, so duh things go well ;)
hahaha took pics with pretty teachers, nicole khor saying bye to me (YAYY!), seeing pretty people ;), talking to them. and SIGGY'S BIRTHDAY WAS SO COOL WE EMBARRASSED HER LIKE SHIT! yayy and i met jess (: at bugis.
these two days were just wonderfulllll.
OH and sa's interact was so funny and pretty (hmmmm!) too!
boy fuck, i sound like a flirt. im not.

english prelims was alright, but compre a bit diff.
I WROTE THE DUMBEST ESSAY MY ENTIRE LIFE.

sec two germaine and talia and sheila, GET MY FUCKING PICTURE OF ME PLAYING THE PIANO OFF YOUR BLOGS! argh! idiot juniors. and germaine's snapping of my shots were damn irritating OKAY.

i should study, enough play.
i need Aones.

2006-08-30T01:57:00.000-07:00

you wont believe how DISGUSTED i am.
do you know how MUCH i can't stand you?
its SUCKING ME UPP.
fuck off, get a life,
just get outta my way and outta my sight
the sight of you nauseates me
you are hideous,
and your language is horrendous
i hate your fucking lousy attitude
seriously, do you think its damn cool?
you can afford to spend your time with all those childish lamers
and you just leave me alone.
what was that suppose to mean?
oh so you didnt really have the time to find it.
okay, so maybe i don mean that much to you
and i am just some kinda dirt.
i dont care, no matter what,
I AM GOING TO DEFEAT YOU.
to prove to you that i CAN LIVE WITHOUT YOU
and i am not that weak
I WANT TO AND I WILL.
LET'S SEE WHO GETS THE LAST LAUGH.

take me back.

2006-08-29T05:12:00.000-07:00

I HAD TUITION TODAY.
but i wasn my usual high self. yeah. im drained out. and also spending the afternn with jess :) mhmm, all is well! shut up kel; you owe me an explanation too.
anyhow its english prelims. and im SO NOT FEELING GUILTY EVEN THOUGH im supposed to be studying. but you see...... blogging helps me improve my english. yes, IT DOES!

tomorrow's siggy's birthday. yayy and SA's installation. AND I GET TO SEE MISS GOH!
okay shut up char.
ima go check nk's pic in some web. lust lust eh/
SHUT UP CHAR!

bye all :)

2006-08-25T23:07:00.000-07:00

aye aye aye.
prelims are starting next week and tuesday's gonna be one of our last days at school. teacher's day next thursday! will be our last celebration in stnicks :( ohwells. and we would probably be doing our last family dance on monday.
so yepp anyway, i had my english orals on thursday and omfh i screwed my picture description?! the examiners asked me so many questions and they seemed to be going against me somehow :i i aim to get a B3 for english!

would you?

2006-08-25T04:34:00.000-07:00

TODAY number three like made my evening and my whole weekend. i am so happy. :)
tiong's daddy fetched me home today, and i carried my fucccking heavy box of worksheets home. my arms and ass are already aching lar. wtf.

yayy! germy's back! now we can have noisy recesses!
number three REALLY MADE MY DAY. she like drove out then saw me and she looked out of her wimdow and SMILED. ilove the way she smiles! dang, im obsessed!
DANG. when that smile of yours creeps into my mind :)

yeah, twas good.

Mirror mirror hanging on the wall
You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all
Mirror mirror I wish you could lie to me
And bring my baby back, bring my baby back to me

i want you back.

the world around me

2006-08-24T04:38:00.000-07:00

my tears are turning into dust,
im wasting tryna find, a reason for goodbye
i cant live without you,
cant breathe without you,
im dreamin bout you,
honestly tell me that its over.
bec the world's still spinning,
and im still living,
wont be nice if we're not living together.
tell me that its over

im just thinking about you,
and i seriously miss you a lot.
just so you know. you were looking today, who are you tryna kid?

today was english orals, dont know if it was good but i know my picture description was so messed up. but the examiners were laughing so i guess its good. :) when i came out, went to the staffroom, i finally saw number two. im like fucking happy and it makes me just OH-SO happy when i see her laugh. dont know. prolly someone to distract myself from when euge's not around. number three dont know where she die to la. i cant wait for school tmr morning assembly :) oh its number two's birthday :))
TODAY IS THE 24 OF AUGUST 2006. we'll come back one year later.

i wna stand with you on the mountain,
i wna bathe with you in the sea,
i wna live like this forever,
until the sky falls down on me.

i quarrelled with my dad last night.
everyone just has a problem with me, nobody understands.

well, my world. this is it.

and its such a simple question

2006-08-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

today was a horrid. with two best friends in the world in different worlds.
please, do cheerup. ive known you guys all my life so dont be like this.
please, i'd get on my knees.

tuition at mrs kuek's was fun.
haha it always is, esp when she'd indulge with me in my stupid childish quarrels and nonsensical complains haha! there came this scgs girl today. yes, and she kept telling mrs kuek im damn funny and mrs kuek would tell me and i would go, okay? i mean what do you want me to say right? funny things, oh wells the girl's pretty nice and sweet. (: brenda tan's like super cute, she like gave me the puppy look to try convince me talking to my mom agn. funny things in my life!

look for the sunrise when it seems like the sun is setting.
everything will be perfect, someday.

girl, i wna be there for you but somethings stopping me.
i swear ima fall agn. i wna be like we used to, like how we play and wack and i'd just put my hands on your waist and you wldn say anything but just smile.
all these lil things keep replaying itself. and how i want it all to be true agn.

i need a sunrise, desperately.
im falling for someone who i really shouldn be at. shes a playa people say. if shes to play, i'd play with her. you know i can if i want to. but to HER im not and i dont want to. im seriously serious man.

char >> nat im so sick of life. why cant everything be so much easier?
nat >> but like that it wldn be life already what.
char >> yeah but i still want it easier! its so torturous.
nat > hmmm can you imagine life being called potatoes!
char >> nat? hahahaha okay so we go like "my potatoes sucks." like this?
nat > yeah! then what would potatoes be called?
char >> hmmm maybe nat.
nat > right char.
char>> HAHAHA really, would you like some nats?

i love potatoes.
i miss nunber two. stop ignoring me.
i love number one.

be without you

2006-08-20T06:10:00.000-07:00

well well well
lets see
we have tests and mock and prelims in TWO FUCKING WEEKS.
its stressful
and i cant seem to get anything into my head.

so i've tried EVERYTHING to keep myself occupied.
like lets see:
-did history, two chapters?
-did chem, got bored halfway a chap
-did AMATHS, absorbed most of the brain juice left.
-did breaking, practiced for a while then i got tired.
-watched school of rock MANY TIMES with my sister. hahahah

now im left with nothing to do, except waiting for my dad to come home
hope he buys me my happy meal!

its been ten days since i've talked with you. yes, but maybe youve just have to try to understand me better cos theres much more to me than you actually know.
maybe you should just try.

to the another, i was just reading all our texts we sent the first day we started out
it was awesome and everything and i suddenly missed everything we've actually done in our time together.
i wrote this for you:

the situation im in is way more than you can imagine
like how even salt is beginning to taste much better than margarine.
im stuck in between fears and tears i dont even know why im alive
but i was glad i had you, to help me up and i survived.
i finally learnt how all good things cant last till the end
and how i cant face the fact that all we can be are just friends.
now i know i cant lie to myself no more
that you being there just makes my heart go sore.

i hope im not too late, with you screaming in my head.
i hope im not too late, that we be going on with hate.
i hope im not too late, that you, i'll try to persuade.
i hope im not too late, that the journey of us, wouldn fade.

when i shut up in your face, doesn mean i give up.
i dont want to, i dont know.

having FIFTY ODD is scary not fun my dear euge?

i miss you. (:

2006-08-18T06:46:00.000-07:00

these four i love :D

you know its really annoying when a friend of yours who mean so much to you seems to be keeping a distance away from you and creating some kind of barrier between the both of you. what the fuck is wrong with you? why can't you just tell me about your feelings? i don't know, its like you're holding something back and you refuse to tell me anything. maybe its hard for you to think that way. probably you have not totally forgotten the past. please don't get me wrong. everything between us is over and i have alr forgive and forget. i'm not trying to get you back or whatever, all i want us to be is friends. close friends, like how we used to be when we first met. i admit, i do miss you alot. i apologise for all the nasty things i did and said. but have you really apologised? yes, maybe you did apologise to me when you rejected me. but how about all that mean things you did? your lies and your ignorance? although it hurt me so, i have forgiven you. i am tired of this. i am goddamn sick of your fucking monotonous and cold replies. stop denying that there's nothing wrong, or quit saying i am thinking too much, because its getting onto my nerves.

life is anything but calm

2006-08-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

mine is anything but calm.

liars die and go to hell. so goodbye.

theres a freaking ss mock tmr and i just heard about it today.
which means im supposed to squeeze in two years worth of stuff into my head in hmm lets see, five hours? oh no theres still amaths hw to do and 5 chapters of chem to study. im left with one more of chem and unable to get anything in already. TELL ME IM SCREWED. this nice primary teacher helped me with integration. :) HA! number one is still number one! okay lets not go nuts.
I'D HAVE TO GET BACK TO DOING NOTHING AT ALL.
no its study.

even if i am to live this year agn, i would do anything and everything ive done agn.
no regrets. cos i love you.

you'll be love and i'll be a liar

TAKE MY LIFE

2006-08-13T07:57:00.000-07:00

now nothings going right. and im getting pissed off cos whatever i'd try to do all goes to waste andi cant get anything done properly. everything i try to get right just gets screwed up right and well.

"i hope thislife pass me past quick"

hey miss murder can i,
make beauty stay if i,
take my life.

leave her alone, take me.

i love friday! (:

i just need to breathe you in me.

2006-08-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

HELLO CHINESE.
oh well, chinese is back again! got back my chinese results today. had a B3 :( well, i guess i cant say much because i have alr tried my best? i only want to say that i dont wanna take chinese! but i am left with no choice, i need a distinction!
jiaxing came to my house yesterday :) we were supposed to study but after a while we started chit chatting. hehh. in the end, i couldn't finish studying my bio and amaths. bio test today was crap. i gave up doing the paper and started to laze. lucky the amaths was still alright! i have not completed my ss graded assignment too! and my testimonial. i've got so much to catch up this weekend!

ms murder can i?

2006-08-09T08:06:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS NATIONAL DAY. yayy?
okay so morning was slack and i prolly only did like four maths questions, aft which i apparantly got very bored. and started playing with my soft rugby ball. and reading joy luck.
THEN
i realised i was going on a cruise at 1600 and i wld be even more bored. cos it'll be a totally waste of time when i can be doing work. (hey. you seldom ever hear me say that) so yes. did i mention? I HATE THE SEA. i get seasick but my mum was the one puking away. she and her smart idea. but oh wells, she wanted me to have a break so thanks mum.(you seldom ever hear me say that too) yayyness now im at home, unrocky.

oh yes i am going to be in an all egoistic mood cos i need it to write my testimonial. im sure rahh wldn have much of a problem eh?
HAHAHAHA wiggy's so funny.

maybe i dont miss you that much?
maybe im beginning to succeed to hate you?
you disgust me. yayy! i hope.

ima work on the testi now.
sounds wrong but yes goodbye!

2006-08-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

with jean!

room 2013 mates!

hello! its the nation's birthday today! :D
i am like rotting at home? tmr's a holiday too! but i have to go for ac training in the morning and go sign the dsa form thing. i've got accepted into ac! but i am still unsure if i should go there. jillian says i should sign it first, if i want to withdraw, i can write a letter to moe again. so yepp! ac has a big and nice sports complex :) though we have to pay maintenance for it. but for me its alright cos i will be using the sports complex quite often. term1 pe lessons is gonna be swimming! hahaha. i heard that ac is going to build a performing arts centre as well! hmmm this reminds me, i just read some blog entry and i found out that nj choir wants to thrash ac choir and some other schools choir in next year's syf. please? ac choir gets like gold with honours? GO AC CHOIR! :D haha okay, sorry that was pure dumbness and weirdness.
we had national day celebration in school yesterday! well, i enjoyed myself very much and its probably one of the best national day celebration in stnicks. vanessa was the mascot for her class and she look so damn hilarious! HAHAHA. its my last national day celebration in stnicks too! :( after that, me char rahh shan and her sister went town! shopped for a little while and ate bk. haha, we were like sitting at some dark corner in cine? interesting huh :D everybody who walked past us stared at us with some funny look. oh yeah, i met daphne! :) me and rahh then went to rot at her dad's office while the rest left. we talked and shared alot about our experience as cca heads! i was supposed to meet shar but in the end we didnt.
woke up at 10 plus this morning and i started doing maths but gradually, i gave up because i was too bored and tired to do any studying. i feel like going out now! ricky couldn't meet because he doesn't have church today. maybe i shall go visit my nieces later :D
chinese results are coming out on friday! -shivers.

2006-08-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

i was just talking to a friend of mine who just broke up with her bung because of her religion. but now, they are still very good friends. maybe even close to best friends.
how about me?

2006-08-05T22:51:00.000-07:00

st nicholas badminton team :)

sec fours at ferry terminal :D our last year.

hihi. woke up arnd ten plus this morning and did amaths. amaths test tmr! (for those who missed the test on thurs because of sports trip). i did matrices and a little of sets, i am left with permutation and combination. the confusing one :i next week's test will be amaths, social studies and bio. MUGG! anyway yes sports trip.

DAY 1
took the bus from school to tanah merah ferry terminal. board the ferry and we sat upstairs! my god, i conclude that if anyone sits the ferry and you get seasick easily, please DO sit downstairs and bring suan mei! i had a VERY BAD seasick lah! i hate sitting ferries! :( some sec2 girl went to spray insect repellent and stinked the whole ferry. gosh, my headache worsen when carolyn foo, who was sitting beside me, took out her PHYSICS TEXTBOOK and started STUDYING. goodness gracious me, i was like practically SCREAMING AT HER TO STOP STUDYING! i cant stand her lameness! :i so we reached bintan and sat on the bus to some hotel. had reflection with mrs gurung for like 2 hours?! i was falling asleep, at the same time, admiring cutie pie :D our group did hiking first. the bus ride to the mountain was HORRIBLE i tell you. the person who built that bus seriously had no brains! it was so freaking squeezy, i felt as if all of us were like sardines! or refugees. somemore we had to carry our bags with us and eat lunch in the crowded stuffy bus! the bus was rather amazing and strange. you know the buses in singapore have their open windows at the side of every seat. but the bus we sat on had some plastic covering at the side and the open windows were at the TOP! because the windows were at the top, it hit many of the tree branches and the leaves and funny insects flew into the bus! the back mirror of the bus broke as well because it got hit by the branch! mountain climbing was very challenging! especially when going up the mountain. when we reached the submit, everyone was like WOOHOO but in less than 5 minutes, we had to go down :i going down was of course much easier. i slided down (: well, i think hiking was the best activity among the other programmes. after about 2 or 3 hours, we went back to our lodge. the lodge was great! even though the resort in desaru was better.

DAY 2
we did team building in the morning. it was a disappointment. i didnt learn anything from it at all. we played some boring games like the robot game, the victim and the spongebob squeezy game. luckily we were more fortunate than the other groups who played dog and bone and the blanket game?! dragon boat and kayaking in the afternoon! dragon boat was great although it gave me butt aches :i our group came in first! :D however, the instructors failed to give us clear instructions. we were suppose to go to the mangrove swamp, but they didnt tell us that there were water snakes and crocodiles there! everyone assumed that it was safe! good that we didnt capsize or not i wonder what's going to happen! :( and one of my friends saw a dead overturned lizard floating on the water. YUCKK! we had our bbq dinner at the beach! though the food kinda sucked. but it was very cooling and the scenery was beautiful :) then, we had camp fire.

DAY 3
we didnt really do anything on day3 except for reflection in the morning, then free and easy in the afternoon. the shift one girls, which comprises of the sec 1,2,3 girls went back in the afternoon while the sec4s and the sec3 track girls stayed behind. all of us went into the teachers room and had an interesting talk with ms lim! :D later, we went shopping at the factory outlet! i bought a black collared shirt and a new wallet. my current wallet is spoiled! :( sat on the ferry back again and i am so glad i sat downstairs this time!
reached singapore at 7.30pm. went to my brother in law's place for dinner. i saw my nieces again! :D

i will holler at you

2006-08-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

today was suppose to be church day.
haha but IM SICK! no, really. no, physically.
im getting cold sweats and a bad headache and block nose.
rahh said i sound so sexy stupid whale.
its torturous!
anyhow my dear moronic parthner's back from sports trip. and nunber one and ahem.
yes. i dare not see doctor, cos he will like make me stay in bed and i cant go to school to like see number two!
AHAHAHA, tiong i'll call yer later! if you read this before i get to you!
okay, my maid's gna cook some tasteless porridge and ima hafta eat it! :(

i'll just stand by the sidelines and watch you slip away.
thats good enough for me. i dont wna fall too deep agn.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died

its sweet of you to look me in the eye

2006-08-04T05:15:00.000-07:00

TODAY IS PROBABLY THE BEST DAY I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME.
oh my god, we like kept bumping into munbertwo ALOT of times.
and BOY SHE LOOKS SO HOT WHEN SHE SMILES!
which she did, at me.
and according to lovely rahh, she kept loooking at me which is like MAKING MY FUCKING DAY OH SO HAPPY!
just like siggy wit her happy pill, im with my HAPPY POTION. haha wiggy came up with that. funny and weird people i sit around with but OHWELLS!
i think she knows.
and she doesn mind.
maybe she does too, (wishful thinking on my part)
but who knows, maybe she really does.
dont you agree?

this is the start of something good, dont you agree?
my thoughts are going absurd.
all i think about, is your smile.

she looks hot in RED.
we'll see, in a few days!

TIONG! I'VE MISSED YOU MUCH!
YOU CANT GO STALKING WITH ME!
ITS OKAY,
WE'LL DO MORE OF THAT WHEN YOU RETURN!
grins~
love you tiong! (:

2006-08-02T06:07:00.000-07:00

we had a very interesting bio lesson today. also, we have a new bio student! CHARLENE XIAO WEITING. HAHA, THAT CRAZY ASS. we dissected the pig's eyeball as well as the brain! :) we were so excited and very grossed out at first. cos it looks so bloody and disgusting! it stinks too! but then, we got used to it lah so it ended up really fun! :D the eyeball was the most fun and amazing one! unlike the boring brain.
emaths mock exam was a killer. oh my, i wonder how i can survive prelims!
sports trip tmr! i have not finished packing yet! AHHHH. there are many things which i dont wanna bring :i haha, at least i am starting to feel excited! :D to come think of it, its gonna be fun! though i didnt really like the group that i am in. i hardly know anyone in my group? AND MOUSE ISNT IN MY GROUP! HOW CAN THIS BE! TIONG IS SO SAD ))):
okay, shall go back to packing now! i will be back on saturday night. dont miss me! :D

memoirs of us

2006-08-01T05:10:00.000-07:00

eeek, i had tuition. yes it was quite okay, since mrs kuek loves to bully me just like any other insane teachers, okay lor.
im like a bully machine, people come to me to ease their bulling desires. hahaha sounds funny. OHWELLS. tiong's gonna be gone on thursday, so will number one and nunber three. dont like!

when smile of yours creepsinto my mind.

nobody said it feels so good,
nobody said you'll be so beautiful,
nobody warned me about your smile,
youre the one, youre the light when i close my eyes
im colourblind (:

i just miss times i would hang with you,
crazily around the canteen.
now all i can do is just sit from afar and watch you, glancing.
i should never have said to let you go. stupid me.
fucker out.

its a sunday

2006-07-30T06:25:00.000-07:00

tomorrows a monday
the next is tuesday
and the next is a wednesday
and the next next is a thursday
and tiong will be gone for a fucking sports trip.
my moronic partner will be gone.

the same images of us keeps reappearing
you apparation is getting to me
hate to feel this way when
i miss you so bad that
im going insane.
you need to get outta my head.can i bribe you?
a lolipop?
milo?
anything.

2006-07-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

i went to visit my nieces today! :D haha, they are SO CUTEE! i am seeing them every weekend now. but i wish to see them everyday! haha, maybe some day i will go over to stay at my brother in law's place! (:
yesterday, i was so pissed off at the aj teacher. seriously man, he gets onto my nerves, i could just SCREAMMM at him! somemore i was having a slight fever and i had to talk to him and hear his disgusting voice and reply his disgusting messages! EEEWW, the way he type is horrendous i tell you. i dont even know what the hell he is typing! he types "come" as "cme" and he spells my name as "winie" etc etc. oh my goodness! i am so glad he finally gave up trying to persuade me to accept the aj dsa. i think i have a bad reputation now after 'arguing' with him. right now, i am waiting for ac and hwa chong's reply. if i really cant get into ac or hc, then i will probably go sa.
i am studying chem right now. there's a test on tuesday and a geog test on wed. i think i'm gonna fail geog again. :( sports trip on thursday! will be back on saturday night. we're taking ferry to bintan :) i pray that the sports trip will be a good one. its like my last year i dont care! arghh, actually i kinda dread going for sports trip :i

the past is the past,
i have stopped crying
and i am moving on
maybe it was not wrong to say goodbye to you after all

the last of us

2006-07-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

today was the official last day for interact, which is BAD cos i'll be like missing them so bad. god. we had a major load of maths questions in the morning. like amaths and RIGHT AFTER that was the bloody unsw which is a TOTAL waste of time when i could spend it so well sleeping.

you dont have to be close to me, just be close at hand.
you dont have to stay forever, i will understand.
but i cant help falling for you, believe me.
im sure, i've fallen again,
good or bad.
i already did.

yayyness

2006-07-25T05:13:00.000-07:00

HAHA me and tiong went picture printing today!
fun, even though she had a bad headache. take care!
oh and siggy too! take care much much!
hmm horrible day, didnt study ss the night before and like crammed everythng 5 mins before the test. LOVELY. dumb propaganda takes up unnessary space.
hardly saw someone1 and someone2
except a few unexpected with someone1.

im missing you real bad.
what hurts the most
was being so close,
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away.
inever know if,
what could have been,
and not seeing that loving you,
is what i was tryna do.

i hope you hear.
dont pretend you dont,
cos its obvious you do.

stop turn, take a look around

2006-07-21T04:23:00.000-07:00

ilove today.
ilove love today.
tiong, im just purely dumb and fucking obvious aint i?
argh, wiggy, i need smart medicine. just a little.
funny day it is.
hmm, never mind.
AMATHS WAS HORRID.
I LOVE THE stfrm. hee,shut up rahh.
oh god, she just drives me crazy andits a crazy, totally absurd obsession.
fuck, dinner's ready.

you are some kind of wonderful
youre everything to me.
god, youre hot.
god, im crazy

2006-07-15T07:45:00.000-07:00

YO!
life in school sucks now. so many tests a week! i'm dying. last week, we had emaths, amaths, lit, social studies and bio. cool huh. there were six chapters to study for bio but i only read through some of the chapters during the holidays and studied a few pages of the reproduction in plants! that chapter can just kill me man, it bores me! in the end, the bio paper was still quite manageable :) though i crap quite alot. and yes, next week i have chem geog and amaths test! i have to mug like 13 chapters to mug altogether. i FAILED NEARLY ALL of my emaths test! i put in so much effort for maths, yet i am getting this kinda marks :( i am so worn out and i feel like breaking down alr. PERSERVE!! thanks to all my friends who gave me encouragement! jiayou too :D
we are doing floorball for pe now :D its so fun! hahaha. but it gives me back ache. we had a floorball match with 4grace that day and they were like @%^&*()?! they dont whack the ball, but our legs. they whack the air.
chinese olevel listening on monday! it shldn't be a problem. my oral was alright too. i think the one which i screwed up the most was paper2! sigh, hopefully they will moderate the marks so i can get A!
went down to hwa chong yesterday :) had a little some sort of party there. ate ice cream :D then walked around the school. i found out that hwa chong does not have a specific class! every class will just have a class bench. during breaks and when we come school in the morning, we go to our class bench. if we have chem lesson, we go to the lab or auditorium and if we have maths, we go to diff classes and all that. think its rather cool! however i would still prefer to have our own class. HAHA.
today, my sister bought me two new specs. what a waste of money :i one of them is half frame. it looks rather nice! hope it suits me :)
i am going to do my CCA head reflections now. its gonna be up on the connexio :( ohwell. BYE!

2006-07-10T06:02:00.000-07:00

its been so long since i updated!
emaths and ss test tmr.
i am mugging ss now, venice and housing. venice can just kill me man!
emaths is now statistics and probability. i hate those stupid frequency thing! :(

fuck

2006-07-08T18:56:00.000-07:00

LALALALA hey tiong, you HAVEN BLOGGED.
ive been a good girl studying. yes, dont look at me like that rahh.
HAHAHA but some assholic thoughts keep getting into my bloody head, wasting a hell lot of bloody of my time.
"if only i could block you out of some time of my life, not thinking about you, i would very much appreciate it."
life is unpredictable, and i hate it.
i need a holiday.
desperately.
sentosa also can.

gary's booster helped a tiny bit but it was major destressing cos he was like SUPER funny lar. funny people.
its like fucking ten in the morning and im like watching kids centeal, waiting for pokemonto come out and my dad to fetch me to church and im really MAJORLY BORED LIKE FUCKING HELL!!

okay tv time.
im a kids central kid!(:

i beseech you

2006-07-07T05:29:00.000-07:00

its hard for me knowing you still care but you never make a response.
its hard for me trying desperately making a part of me hate you.
its hard and its tiring for me.
its just a part of me that still cannot let go.
its just all the memories that come back.
its all about you and me.

i would go down on my knees to make you underrstand, little gestures that would make my day. i realise i never had the guts to do something i always wanted to do.
"whereever you'll be, i'll just be a turn away, so you can see me easily"

i will always be here for you.
i dont care if its good or bad, right or wrong.
i just want to be there, hold you in my arms and show i care.
whatever i've done i'll definitely do agn, for you i will.

2006-06-22T23:20:00.000-07:00

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
And will you never try to reach me?
It is I that wanted space

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
And then I fell down yelling “Make it go away!”
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”

Hate me today
Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

why am i so obviously insane?

2006-06-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams
I'll always see your soul
Above the sky
In my heart
There always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

know bitch

2006-06-03T05:07:00.001-07:00

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is true
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?

i dont wanna waste it all
cause everything has happened before
you said your shit, you left.
now dont turn arnd to me and regret
i wont be here forever,
now fuck away, turn, whatever.

2006-06-02T05:50:00.000-07:00

rat and jiaxing :)

birthday cake!

thanks to all for the birthday surprise! :D
its been almost two months since i last updated!
anyway my days were fine and now without badminton too. except that the days during the chinese o's period were hectic. i was so stressed out with it and my brains were full of chinese! goodness gracious me, i am so glad that everything's over now! the paper was shit though. paper 1 was easy, but paper 2 was such a killer! especially cloze passage and the 2nd compre! :( oh yeah, and chinese orals are coming up too!
term 2 ppr was such a disappointment. i didnt improve when almost everyone did.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change, winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

[Chorus:]
Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

2006-06-01T06:03:00.000-07:00

THIS IS A REALLY LATE ENTRY.
REPEATED INSISTING BY FELLOW MORON.
CHINESE O'S WAS screwed. majorly screwed.
thou shalt talk about screwed events.

i dont wanna know
if youre playing me
keep it on the low
cause my heart cant take it anymore.

you are one mistake i really dont mind.

2006-04-09T02:42:00.000-07:00

badminton badminton badminton.
its my competition period now, i cant wait for it to end. i am looking foward to 27 april, because that's when i step down :) 18 more days! gosh and my whole of next week is badminton. training on monday wednesday friday, tournament on tuesday and thursday! this friday is good friday, i hope there would be no training but i doubt so :( anyway, we are in the second round now. i am screwing my matches :/ will be playin nanyang and rgs this tuesday and thursday respectively. rgs is gonna be tough! SIGH. FUCK, SO TIRED.
zhuang's mother just passed away :( i went to the wake with sarah, vanessa, chloe and teresa on friday night after my training. had a good talk with zhuang! and her dog's cute :D
met char for lunch yesterday! i found painkillers for my injuries :) i wont feel pain anymore :) but i have not bought it though.

2006-03-20T03:21:00.000-08:00

hahahah i just read some asshole's blog. oh my god it was so bloody lame i cant stop laughing my head off! seriously lah, why would we want to mess with you all? we cant even be bothered to mess with such loserish people! that asshole made it sound like as if they're too good for us to mess with. please, WE DO NOT CARE. haha yeah anyway honestly, we cant wait to WIN YOU FLAT. and you should look into the mirror man, who's the one being so glum and arrogant? aiyo. -shakes head. quit deluding yourself like huh. its so silly for you to hate us just because you cant win us, really losers you know.
anyway today kinda sucked. you are killing me again. life is like a mountain, full of ups and downs. you cant expect someone to always be at their peak, it will never be possible. no one can be perfect. people have different way of doing things, how can you expect every person to be the same under your control? people have their own talents. how do you want me to change everyone? things wont work out this way, i am not god. you should really stop giving yourself so much stress because i think you are getting angry and troubled over ridiculous unnecessary stuff.
haha, training today! cldn't train because of my swollen feet. though it's better now, it still hurts a little and at least i can walk! i was limping the past few days :/ had lunch with nessa at macs and it was so fun talking about the good old times. our favourite hot topic as well! :D
anyhow, school starts tmr. sheesh :/ i am so dread to go school i want more holidays! and 95% of my homework is not completed yet. hohoho, ohhhh how wonderful :)

A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don't think I can look at this the same

All the miles that separate
Disappear now when I'm dreamin' of your face
I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there's only you and me.

The miles just keep rollin'
As the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated
But I hope that it gets better as we go.

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me.

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won't take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done.
It gets hard but it won't take away my love

I'm here without you baby
But you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
But you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there's only you and me

2006-03-16T02:31:00.000-08:00

holidays are coming to an end soon and i've been slacking :( i'm eating and sleeping so much like a big fat lazy pigg, i think i'm growing fat soon! hee :D hardly touched my books and my homework although there's piles of work to be done, sheesh. i was supposed to do chinese revision but i didnt do any in the end. hahah i just cant stand doing chinese, it makes me fall asleep. if i clear my chinese o's in may, i wont be studying chinese till next year so i have to force and motivate myself to study hard for chinese :)
i tried studying geog today, wet rice cultivation. well, it wasnt exactly very productive but at least i did something! i seriously have to buck up on my combined humans! i have been getting F9s for it since the beginning of sec three and i dont believe my humans are that bad, so I WILL WORK HARD FOR IT. :)
many things happened lately. seriously i cant take it anymore. you are totally absurd and non sensical. i have done my best yet you are not happy. i cant live up to all your expectations, they are too high and you have gone too far. i am not perfect and so aren't you. you cant force me to do whatever i cannot and whatever i dont want to do. i'm tired of your impatience and your bullshit facts. i hate it when you don get your priorities right, i hate it when you are so unreasonable and so not understanding, i hate your selfishness and fakeness. i dont understand why you cant accept being defeated, all you think is winning. you're stress. c'mon tell me who's not stress? everyone else is stress too. you are bringing my morale down and i've been tolerating i cant wait to get out of here. i am too dread to see you. i dont wish to dislike you, i wish you would go back to your normal self again. please stop thinking that you're so great and that you're always right. i have lost my trust and respect in you. don pester and irritate me anymore would you? just quit killing and giving me additional stress.
i am drained and worn out, i've got no mood to study or even train. and i dont know how i train, my body hurts everywhere it feels injured! :( i want competition to end quickly so that i can focus on my studies then get over and done with o's. i cant continue on like this.

I didn't know what to say
I tried to look the other way
When I saw you there with him
Acting like I don't care
But you can read from how I stare
That I'm hurting deep inside
Ain't gonna show my weakness
I'm gonna smile
And tell the whole world I'm fine
I'm gonna keep my senses
But deep down
When no one can hear me
Baby I'll be crying for you

2006-03-11T05:57:00.000-08:00

hahaha these few days had been fun but tiring though. went to siggy's house yesterday and i was so mad! dont know what's wrong with me maybe i drank too much coke :D i think i have to go woodbridge alr. took so many photos with char! silly and stupid ones. and yes, we watched tom and jerry, its damn cute! :) i want more!! :D me being the poor cat, tom, was always getting bullied by the rat, jerry (char). she kept trying to pull out my whiskers! as well as sneaking into the house and stealing things, especially my cheese, while i am asleep :D yupp so stayed till arnd 8 plus and went home. zhuang might be changing our seats next term. i dont want! i only want to sit with siggy and char. my lovely silly crappy darlings :))
st nicks fiesta today :D zhuang made me come at 6.45 lah! what the heck. again carried many things i probably climbed up and down for more than ten times. i hardly ate. only one egg and four fishballs if i'm not wrong. bought many drinks, coconut :) me and char were so lame! we went to the hall and jumped on the bouncy bouncy thing, which was meant for only kids below p6! hahaha, we tried to persuade the sec three girls who were in charge to let us in and so we did! :D we look like small kids anyway. people were like saying "the thing can take your weight meh?" we're not as heavy as they think okay! nothing happened lor. haunted house was quite alright it wasnt scary at all.
after fiesta, i went out with amelia and jiaxing, my besties :D its been ages since we last chill out! jiaxing used the hair spray to style and spike my hair, she claimed that it was nice but i thought it wasnt. she even wanted me to go out with this hairstyle. unfortunately it rained. we ran in the rain till we reached macs. by the time we reached macs, we were all so drenched so i had to dry my hair in the toilet. headed to thomson plaza and dined at swensens! ate prata at prata house after that! had a great time chatting and laughing with you guys today. love you! :D
this holiday is such a havoc. its only one week but the amount of work given makes it seem like june holidays. so much catching up and revision for tests to do too. training's gonna be intensive as well because nationals start on the 27th. we have to go back on tuesday morning for some chinese mock exam paper then later in the afternoon for chem prac for three hours! its like less than 80 days to chinese o's! AHHHH THIS IS SCARY :(( never mind, hua yu cool! :)

homework:
1) 3 comprehensions
2) 7 worksheets of maths
3) 3 worksheets of bio
4) 8 pages of chem
5) 6 pages of geog
6) ss workbook
7) chinese workbook, 3 chapters

2006-03-10T02:49:00.000-08:00

heyy everybody! we are at siggy's house now! today was a really tiring day did preparation for tmr's fiesta! went round the school so many times and carried stuff.
char now. haha im playing the guitar, tiong's majorly slacking! what a moron. we sang inCy WINsy spider song. and the im a little teapot. we really looked like major morons. haha WE WATCHED TOM AND JERRY!!! and tiong, being tom, kept chasing me, jerry. so irritating. she's like so much bigger. no fair. but its like pure funness. im much sweeter in the show, so never mind. but it got really bored for a while. tiong continued watching and she got so sad when the show ended! hahaha morons are we! WE BOTH LIKE FAILED OUR AMATHS TEST. and the cha ye dan smell is like getting in my nose and its getting stinkier and stinkier. yayy i like can go for mrs soh's remedial and tiong cant. haahahahahahahahahahahah tiong's like shuffing the dog into my face. how idiotic can she get. now shes making the doll sleep with the bear. GOD!!!!! crazy fool. im tired. tiong will continue. tiong makes my day. but eugenia does it better. HAHAHAH haha. okay, we'll sit on the merry go round tmr!!!! and the bouncy bouncy thing!!! oh my god its gonna be like super funn lar!!! okayy we'll end here. enjoy!!

2006-03-04T06:01:00.000-08:00

i love this song! one of my favourite! :D

Why, why, why
There you are in a darkened room
And you're all alone, looking out the window
Your heart is cold and lost the will to love
Like a broken arrow
Here I stand in the shadows (in the shadows)
Come to come, come to me
Can't you see that

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why, why don't you let me love you
Why, why, oh why

Can you hear my voice, do you hear my song
It's a seranade, so your heart can find me,
And suddenly you're flying down the stairs
Into my arms baby,

Before I start going crazy (going crazy)
Run to me
Run to me
Cause I'm dying

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (I don't wanna cry)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why

Why, why don't you let me love you
I wanna feel you need me (feel you need me)
Just like the air you're breathing
I need you here in my life

Don't walk away, don't walk away
Don't walk alway, don't walk away
No..

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry..

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (nobody wants to cry)
My body's longing to hold you (is longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside (hurts inside)
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why, why don't you let me love you

Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry (nobody wants to cry)
My body's longing to hold you (I'm longing to hold you)
So bad it hurts inside (so hurt inside)
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why, why don't you let me love you

Why, let me love you
Why don't you let me love you
Why, love you, let me love you

2006-03-03T01:02:00.000-08:00

tiong's a naughty girl copying homeworkand shes a big retarded idiot! not as idiot as me though! hahahahahah okay anyway, been really pissed lately. because of some shitass fucking arsedhole. a person who is majorly sucky and really nothing better to do. okay shall not get into details. anyway, it's cheryl's birthday! haha happy birthday darling! haha yeap! retarded pictures with me and homies y'all. yeah. cheer up everybody. the world's not ending yet. rat loves you all except you.
a smile does it all. :) hee!
tiong, you get?

2006-02-27T04:22:00.000-08:00

school was fun today! :D
i've got 23/25 for my amaths test hahah! missed by two marks because of two frigging careless mistakes! urggh :/ well at least i'm glad my hard work was paid off :) today during bio lesson, we dissected the pig's heart. it was disgusting at first sight, it looks super gross, esp with all the blood and stuff. and the whole goddamn lab stinks! my god, i need air refresher! but it got quite interesting after that :D had fun exploring the heart and trying to trace the path of the blood flow :)
training rocks too :D bdiv had a short evaluation at first. i felt so much better after coach talked to me, felt so silly for what i've done. then we played captain's ball for one hour :)) i think this is one of the longest time we ever played games during training!
i've got a chem test coming up this wed and i have problems understanding the chapters tested! and there is amaths test again next week, ex 13E-I and chapter 14. well i fucking dont get approximation at all! i hate it. the rest are okay although chapter 14 confuses me a little.
alright, i'd better go do my chinese homework or zhuang will chase me outta the class tmr!

dear char,
if you're feeling upset, please cheer up. if you're not then continue to be happy. you'll get over everything soon yeah? and please dont get drunk or hurt yourself. you still got me :D i'll always be by your side. this song here its for you!

Live is full of lots off up and downs
But the distance feels further
When it's heeded for the ground
And there's nothing more painful
Than to let your feeling's take you down

It's so hard to know the way you feel inside
When there'so many thoughts and
Feelings that you hide but you might feel better
If you let me walk with you by your side

And when you need a shoulder to cry on
When you need a friend to rely on
And the whole world is gone
You won't be alone
'Cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be your friend to rely on
When the whole world's gone
You won't alone
'Cause I'll be there

All of the times
When everything is wrong
And you're feeling like there' no use going on
You can't give it up
I'll help you work it out and carry on

Side by side
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on

You'll always have my shoulder to cry on

I LOVE YOU :)

2006-02-25T01:23:00.000-08:00

:)i have major evidence of tiong copying homewrk. i dont like school nowadays, sucks big time. just finished tuition, ate prata with chloe kell and manda. nice mundane routine of saturdays. oh wells, icant wait for o's to end. stress sucks. if i die, somehow. probably got my brain chewed offby siggy's dog or smt,like what she did to my relative. yeah youre invited.
rules and regulations for attending my furneral:
1. everyone must come in bright coloured clothes. no pink allowed.
2. everyone must come with a sunflower.
3. everyone must come with a sunflower and wave it at my coffin before going off.
4. everyone must be happy that i died.
okay, that shall be it, until i think of more things to add.
off to study now!

2006-02-24T08:46:00.000-08:00

zonals are finally over!
cdiv: 1st
bdiv: 2nd

bdiv lost to sports school :/ ohwells, they are sports school anyway so its okay. they train like ten times a week?!
today i went out with amelia to town after remedial. we watched "rumor has it"! its quite nice, i liked the show :) the grandmother inside was damn hilarious! but kinda sick though.
chinese prelims is in six weeks time! AHHHHH!!! :((

tell me you love me
you need me
you miss me
tell me i will be your baby forever
that i am your only one
and you wouldn't want anybody else
tell me you wouldn't say goodbye
you can't do without me
tell me i'm the one you breathe

2006-02-19T03:31:00.000-08:00

hey char! thanks for helping to change the template :) i think this template is nicer than the previous one we had. i love the picture :) we shall take more silly ones next time hahaha. you called me a moronic assholelic! how could you?! :(((((( yes we will make the mercedes car for mrs soh so that she can stop fining us. the whole class must thank us! HAHA :D okay, char you better study hard alright. you have four tests and graded assignment to do. i've got 5 tests plus graded assignment and last of all my semis and finals :( WORK HARD! TAKE CARE AND I LOVE YOU.

maybe now its time to make a confession
the first time i saw you in december
i secretly started to notice you
this feeling inside me was indescribable
you were so beautiful to me that
you became my attraction baby
i would run the extra mile just to see you
because i cant take my eyes off you
whenever you are near, my heart beats faster
i dont care if what i'm doing is wrong
i dont care what you think or feel
i dont care who your group of friends are
and who they are to me
i'm dying to let you know that i love you
for you i would swim a hundred rivers
and climb a thousand walls to get to where you are
no matter where you go, i will never stop chasing
after you to be mine
cause you're my addiction, my love

2006-02-19T00:28:00.000-08:00

sorry tiong, the other one had to be deleted.it was majorly screwed. yepp yepp haha all other detalis are still the same! therefore youre still the same moronic asshloelic dude, and im the nicest sweetest and smartest rat ever! hahaa okay the mercedes for mrs soh! its gomma be her teachers' day cum valentines day cum birthday cum our leaving present to her! we should make it fast and give it to her so she wldn fine us anymore for not bringing our notebooks and txtbk yeah? haha we're hilarious tiong! i love you girl! hahaa